the day it almost was

Last night I spoke with our potential BM. She was sweet on the phone. Again our perfect situation. We made plans to meet on saturday at a park in Walnut Creek. I was giddy after getting off the phone although i was a bit shaky at the beginning of the conversation. I simply asked about her and he studies abroad etc.

I had trouble sleeping lat night as my mind was spining about her due date in 10 days.

My morning walk with the dog this morning was at 8. We received a call from our agency at 10am saying that "she" had gone into labor and to stay close to our phones. I got in the shower and could not stop sobbing. I think they were tears of joy that our "perhaps" baby "might" be born today.

I went off to lunch with some girlfriends and tried not to think about it. Although one has 2 kids and the other is pregnant with her second right on schedule. It made me sad I cannot control this part of my life. I thought I'd be a mom by now. However I might have been the one that was not realistic about it all either.

So after 6 hours I finally called our agency back to check in and they let us know "she" had chosen another couple. CRUSH!! The hospital had discouraged her from interviewing potential families today and she went with her initial gut that was a same sex couple.

I respect her decision. Oh but the day it almost was... one of the best days of my life. I know that day is coming but it cannot come too soon!

end of the month?

today we received a call from our agency about a potential BM who really likes us along with a few other families. Hearing her story put me more at ease about how this process can go. This one seems very easy, simple, and most likely a happy situation for all involved. I'm beginning to think happy thoughts about our future. I think we are both just "waiting" and perhaps our dreams are almost ready to come true.

I left the BM a VM and hope to hear back from her soon. We'd love to meet her and get to know her better.

i would be so thrilled to be a mommy by the end of the month!

a very grown-up decision

Last thursday I was on my way home from my volunteer gig at the Humane Society. I checked my iphone email and saw i had an email from a potential BM (birth mother). She had contacted us directly after a brief talk with our agency. When we heard her story - which she told us very openly via email - our first reaction was to rescue her. Her story was heart breaking but also included some things we had decided against initially. The more the thought and discussed we kept coming back tot he same conclusion she was just not the right fit for us. With an open adoption we know we are inviting this person into our family and this was a situation we just weren't comfortable.

This first contact let us have a glimpse at what we as a couple need to go through to make a very grown-up decision.

Intro

Our journey began back in May of 1995. When he asked me to marry him. We knew eventually we would want a family just not sure when and how. After 10 years of marriage and when my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer we determined that time was now. We tried the old fashioned way for over a year. The went in for testing which proved all was OK. After another year we decided to try science to give us a boost. My mother had taken Clomid to get PG with me and my sister. Luckily it worked the 2nd month but sadly only lasted a short time with a missed miscarriage. We then continued Clomid for the next 6 months in combination with IUI. That proved not to work so we decided that life was telling us something and we began to explore adoption. I was raised by my adoptive father and knew it was always something I wanted to do. Once we signed on with our agency in August 08 we knew a whole new world of possibilities was opening for us along with the new set of emotions. And here we begin...